I was still to witness, and a being I still had to trust. I wasn’t a bad person, I thought; if my sins were to be atoned for it would’ve been easy, I thought. I wanted to look on my past as a thing that had been purified, that I wouldn’t have to worry about. I wanted a clear conscience.

When my walls fell, I experienced one of the greatest moments of clarity in my life; but that too was allowed to become an illusion, and my heart quickly fell back onto stronger, spiritual walls. It wasn’t about sacrificing walls, I found; but about sacrificing that which builds them. Questions are borne from answers, independence from dependence, power and direction from disarmed faith – and not the religion of the self.

We had to let go of our own answers and become children, fully adults and fully children. We had to give up that which didn’t work, no matter how much we’d wanted it. We had to know the value of freedom, and its power; it was the difference between heaven and hell, between questions and answers…